VIP Clubs and Toptional Pools – Vegas Pt 2

After managing a few hours of sleep everyone besides Pat made it down for the amazing buffet selection at Cesaers, taking full advantage of the eggs benedict until they ran out. It was a particularly slow and hazy morning so by the time we had finished with breakfast it was after midday and time to make a move on the plan – hit up one of Vegas’ many pool clubs.

One needn’t look far for an amazing pool in Vegas. Almost every hotel has one and if you’re in the mood for something a bit more exciting, there are at least 20 pool-clubs to choose from. During the weekends, the clubs can draw huge crowds and unfortunately we missed the weekend just past that had seen David Guetta playing a set in one of them. On a weekday, like the Wednesday we found ourselves at the Venus pool, many of the occupants were, as one of the promoters informed us, strippers working on their tan. Not that a group of four young guys were complaining of course. The pool was a long rectangle with cabanas running along one side for hire and deck chairs along the other. Every five or so meters was a tall Roman pillar with speakers on top playing house music as bikini clad waitresses came by selling buckets of beer. Surrounding us in all directions were the enormous wings of Caesar’s Palace that managed to enhance, rather than distort the scene with its impressive architecture.

Looking up from the lounge chairs

As we finished off the first $60 bucket off beer it was time for a swim. At one point we noticed two topless girls floating passed making out until one of the security guards ran over to break them up. They floated passed us again a few minutes later and Nate asked them what they were doing tonight, to which they responded “this” and started going at it again. At least, until the security broke them up. It was all quite hilarious and a while later the security guard came passed to let us know the pool was closing when we asked him how he felt to have had to break the two girls up. The guard sighed and said that even though it was company policy, it hurt him on the inside.

The same promoter who recommended the Venus pool to us also put us on the list for LAX, supposedly the best club to be at on a Wednesday night. She didn’t disappoint. Two bottles of vodka and another buffet later we we found ourselves dressed up and in line for LAX when a group of three guys in their late 20’s approached us. Confident and in suits, because for some reason the fact that they were in suits matters, these guys managed to convince us Vegas newbies to split the cost of a VIP booth. It sounded alluring; our own booth, two bottles of top-shelf vodka and table service, the only problem was the price. In the end, the other guys were happy for us to throw in less than half because they were eager and money didn’t seem to be an issue for them, which worked out great for us.

Drinks in the booth

It wasn’t the biggest club I’ve been into, but it was definitely the fanciest. The bathrooms even had a selection of colognes, moisturizers, ‘clear-eyes’ and breath-mints. Surrounding the lengths of the rectangular dance floor was a series of VIP booths with the DJ propped up in the middle of one side. The dance floor was small enough that you feel like you’re in a sardine can after not too long, which made us feel even happier that we had got the booth. Awaiting us as we were escorted to the booth was our waitress who quickly poured a round of vodka with either red-bull, cranberry or orange juice for everyone. After a quick ‘cheers’ the three other guys were off and rarely seen again for the rest of the night, which meant that we had two bottles of vodka essentially to ourselves and anyone we brought to the booth. Which, as a result of the efforts of Nate and Pat turned out to be a fair few different groups of girls. I was buzzed enough to warrant short stints on the dance floor and at one stage found myself talking to, and head-butting a San Franciscan each time one of us said anything. As it turned out she was a soccer player with a self professed ‘strong head’, however after four clashes I felt ridiculous and went to get a drink.

As the club was closing the group of us split up with Mark and I leaving Pat and Nate behind with a couple of girls. Nate and one of the girls they were with (a sociology student) managed to bring a prostitute to tears by trying to set her on the ‘right’ path – which she found to be confirmation of a sign which she had received earlier in the week. Mark and I also found ourselves talking to a prostitute, however it wasn’t until 10 minutes into the conversation when she said that she would be free to hang out except between 4.30 and 5.30 that morning that Mark believed she was a lady of the night. Once it clicked, we set our sights on more important things, like finding pizza.

Unbeknownst to me, finding pizza in the wee hours of the morning in Vegas can be quite a struggle. We tried the food courts and restaurants of many of the nearby hotels and casinos to no avail, narrowly missing out by mere minutes on many occasions. After getting declined from one pizza restaurant that had just closed we began talking to the worker, asking for suggestions of where to get our fix when after about 5 minutes he gave us a sly look and walked out of sight. He came back with a pizza box, possibly from the trash, and heated it up. When it was ready he quickly took our money, shoved it in his pocket and said ‘this never happened’. On the way back to the hotel we received jealous eyes and offers for our pizza from nearly everyone we passed. Pizza at this time of the morning was clearly a commodity worth having and when we finally dug into it back in the room, it was definitely one of the better pizza’s I’ve ever had.




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